About three years ago, I hosted a book group that studied Marshall Rosenberg’s “NonViolent Communication.“ I found it to be such a valuable book, I’ve taken many coaching clients through the process outlined in it. One of the first things you are asked to do is understand your value system and be clear about your needs. When doing so, you are clearer about how to communicate with others not only to have your needs met, but also to take full responsibility for your feelings and actions.
Having been through the book more times than I can count, I’ve had the good fortune to really understand what’s important to me. By knowing what’s important to me, I am clearer about my needs. By being clearer about my needs, I am better able to meet them. And when my needs are met, I am satisfied, an important quality for generators. Here are some things I know about myself:
- I value intimate relationships with others so I need to feel an emotional connection with them. Without a deep connection, I’m unfulfilled.
- I value learning and trying new things so I need to have lots of variety in my life. Variety, variety, variety is super important to me.
- I value peace and calm so I need to cultivate behaviors that create peace and calm in my life, like disconnecting from relationships filled with drama.
- I value time to myself so I need to give myself space. Without having time to myself, I get burned out and overstimulated.
I could list many more things I discovered about myself….you get the picture. Investing in yourself in this way will dramatically improve the quality of your life. And don’t take my word for it….try it!!