One of my friends on twitter posted this: “Every person we meet is our teacher and our student. Everyone plays a role in our lives and we play a role in theirs.” When I read this, I was immediately reminded of the people in our lives I call the designated a@#holes. I use the term playfully, however, these are our most profound teachers. Often, their job is to mirror things we are being asked to look at in ourselves. They also show us where we are vulnerable and need to be more accepting. Here are some examples:
- A designated a@#hole will be angry with you when you don’t do what they want. The lesson: be okay with pissing people off when you are making good choices for yourself.
- A designated a@#hole will make you wrong when your beliefs are different than yours. The lesson: be accepting of difference.
- A designated a@#hole will judge you for your appearance. The lesson: get comfortable in your own skin.
- A designated a@#hole will act superior to you. The lesson: don’t look for outside validation of yourself.
Ultimately the designated a@#hole will guide each of us to not personalize their behavior. The truth is any kind of negative behavior from someone else is not really about us, it’s about them.
What are your designated a@#holes saying to you?